Archive for July, 2012

I wrote this poem the night I heard of the Colorado movie theater tragedy.


The Bullets That Fly

In this place

On this night

In the air

Something not right


As they sat

And watched a show

All excited

With hearts aglow


Then the sound

Of cries, of pain

The rumble of feet

An oncoming train


Shots in the dark

All too near

Flashes of terror

Evil is here


This life we have

For granted some take

Minutes like hours

Hearts now break


Why did this happen

Why did they die

Why can’t we stop

The bullets that fly…




Here is a collection of all the posts that I never finished. I started them and then either lost my momentum or got interrupted. I thought this might make for some interesting comments.


It’s not like I mind the walk, because I don’t. In fact I cherish the journey more than the destination, truly I do. I always take the longer road so I can see and experience more. This road may be filled with turns and dips, but that is why I walk it


I close my eyes and I see HER.

SHE stands just ever so close enough that I can see.

I inhale and I inhale HER.

SHE gently exhales in my direction.

I move and I feel HER moving with me.

SHE dances with my soul, moving me to and fro.

I breath and I sense the rise and fall of HER chest.

SHE pushes my lungs so that I can fill of HER.

I look over my shoulder to change lanes and I see HER of the side of my road.

SHE races towards the engine of me.

I even know SHE’s standing beside my bed at night, I try to open my eyes but cannot.

Mockingly SHE brushes my cheek with her hair.

I can taste HER scent.

SHE wets her finger and traces it across my lips.

I am all around HER.

SHE has me in HER sights.

I want HER to make me HERS.

SHE holds my heart and cradles my life.

I cannot say to HER.

SHE will not hear.



I keep thinking that I have lost my dark edge. I recently said to a friend that sometimes life treats you in a good way and in it’s wake you lose something. It might be the other way around too. Maybe the hard replaces the soft. For some that might be a good thing, I personally don’t want the change. I happen to like where I am at times, and I would rather ME change things instead of having LIFE rearrange ME. Oh don’t get me wrong, I’m happy in my life really I am. It’s not what I was expecting, but hey it’s a life. The reason I get out of bed in the morning


I wasn’t hoping, planning or even looking for this to happen, (again). She was just wandering along her road and I was blindly taking one step in front of the other in my so called life. I can’t remember how it happened, HELL I can’t even begin to imagine WHY it happened?  Wasn’t I given enough second chances in my life. Wasn’t it me who took every golden opportunity HANDED to me and squandered it? WTF. There must be more deserving than ME? Is she more deserving, if she is, than why am I in HER picture? I don’t get it anymore, this whole KARMA thing is happening again to me, only this time I’m not the one receiving, I’m the one giving, for chrissakes.

So to sum up; met her,wet her, forget her.

Oh man, this sucks.



I cannot believe the level of anger that swells up  inside of me. It is like a WHOLE nother person in there. Someone who is at the very end of nothing left. I used to believe that I was bulletproof, that nothing could hurt me. I was at one time THAT GUY. Not anymore, now I’m just a shell of that guy. All the years of getting shot at, well I guess some of those rounds got through, because I’m starting to feel the shrapnel. Too bad, I suppose it happens to the best of us huh?



Just humming along, singing a song, thinking I got it made in the shade. “HA”  “HA HA” I say. Got it made my ass! I got played, bamboozled, hoodwinked, scammed. By none other..than MYSELF

What a crock it is to think I have no



“Honey I’m home,” I called out as I walked in through my  front door.

“Honey, hello?” There was no answer. I put down my briefcase, hung up my hat and coat and walked into the kitchen to find my wife.

My son came out and jumped on me and said,”mom went to buy a lottery ticket dad, she said she was tired of being unhappy.”



Man, what a beautiful day it is today. Looking up at the sky I can see every single cloud, really every single wisp of white cotton. I could almost reach up and touch the strands of silk as they float past me. The suns warmth and the gentle breeze as they mix and dance around my face is exhilarating. I feel each puff of air that is allowed to stray from the other winds above me.  The springs release of scents like grass and moist dirt seeps up from below me and mixes with it’s sister like heat of the day. I love this time of year. I wish it to never end, always be warm and playful. Teasing me with it’s allure of more days like this to come. I was standing on the side of the street as the band marched past me.  I could hear each instrument as it was played. I could sense every emotion the music was trying to elicit in me. Staring at the parade and the others like me watching it, I was overcome with a sense of singularity. I suddenly felt like I was completely alone in this crowed space. My senses were heightened and alarmed as I began too see what was happening. While everyone cheered and clapped for the marchers as they passed by. I saw it happening through my now impaired vision. Is this for real??? Can this actually be happening??



The fact that she and I even talk is amazing…There is nothing for us to talk about….Nothing in common…Either I’m wrong OR she’s wrong OR we’re both right OR as is often the case we are on total opposite sides of the simplest of topics…It does not matter who’s talking OR who’s listening…I wish I could be someone else watching us as we talk…What would it appear to be that we are doing?…Hell, I’m not saying  it’s a horrible relationship…I love her and I’m sure she loves me…We just don’t say it anymore, at least not to each other…Sad isn’t it?…For all the talking we do AT each other you’d think ONE of us would take the initiative and stop talking and SAY the one thing that we both need to say and hear…



Last evening I was unafraid…last evening I was bold and brave in a cute boyish mannered way…last evening I made sure to scrub clean all the parts of me that might get kissed,licked or touched…last evening the air outside was crisp and fresh, the air was begging for cuddling…last evening I figured it to be the perfect evening…last evening I made my move…last evening I was wrong…last evening was “HE SHOOTS, he misses”…last evening wa



Closing my eyes and wishing sleep to take me quickly, but once again I am cheated. Why must MY body refuse to give me what it needs? What it craves, desires and most importantly begs for. I beg to forget this day, just as I begged to forget yesterday, and I will most surely ask the same tomorrow evening. Just lay down and have it go away.



ONCE upon a time –

I just walked in and saw her standing there**She was waiting for me, really waiting for ME **Maybe everything in HER whole life had led her to this point**It seems MY karma had this planned all along**When I said hello and she smiled I knew right then that I would kiss her**Great kiss too**Many years have since passed and we have grown older, together**I cannot kiss her anymore**IT just isn’t the way now



Ha ha , it’s happened again. The one you think is the one for you is just another one. WOW, how many times do I have to go thru this crap?

There must be something similar to a big set of red circles on my chest that only she can see. It’s invisible to me because it is nothing that I put there. I can feel it right now as I’m typing this post to you. Oh, it’s there all right. One big red circle around smaller red circles with a red dot in the center. It wasn’t always there, but it’s there now.

Blinking like some bizarre neon street sign begging for attention. Sometimes its as simple as a finger poke or a dull elbow. Other times it is more like a sharp stabbing pain like a skewer being pushed out to the other side.

Who does that to someone they care/cared for? Can’t she see that its wrong?

As I sleep I dream of an arrow slicing through the air and striking me in a red circle. It’s not always on target, most times it’s simply hits somewhere in the circles. But every now and then I feel the one that was meant to and did find its way into the center, the one that she knew would stick and hurt most.

I’m not mad or angry really, in fact I’m more surprised that she still shoots and hadn’t given up and walked away to maybe, another target.

Maybe the pain she sends is the new love we have. Maybe this is just us getting older together.

Maybe I shoot arrows too!