Archive for February, 2012


THE BEING HUMAN

 

ACCEPT

BARGIN

CARRY

DESTROY

EXPLORE

FINISH

GO

HEAVEN

INVEST

JAIL

KILL

LOVE

MANAGE

NOTION

OUT

PUSH

QUICK

REMEMBER

SUPER

TALENT

UNDERSTAND

VERBAL

WET

XXX

YELL

ZOO

-Peace

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As I wade through my pain…my pain that is clear and real…it is like warm water that encapsulates me…I swim through it’s rip tides and waves as my pain like a crashing slap is coming to shore…my shore…I am a shore…my pain is below and above me…it is to my sides and it glides itself through my hair, across my skin…I feel my pain wash over me… like I’m putting on an soft,old and familiar blanket…it is covering me…my pain is sheltering me, from no pain…with eyes closed…and my body now racked with my pain…I roll and twist through my pain…take a long deep breath and submerge myself into my pain…I swim deeper and deeper down into my pain…I swim down until I feel like I can no longer hold my breath…deeper I go…my lungs are about to burst…my ears are ringing with new pain…yet I swim deeper still…and when I finally cannot stand my pain any longer…I open my mouth…I inhale my pain…it fills me…I begin to float to the surface…carried along by my pain…I break through, into the light of morning…gasping and spitting out the pain…I am in my bed…what a horrible dream I just had…was it a dream…I look around my bed and myself…it is then that I noticed that my big toe has poked through a hole in my sock…ouch that hurts…

 

-Peace


HER ROAD

 

She is traveling

But not alone

With children in tow

Far far from home

 

Her burden she carries

Like a stone

Sometimes she feels

She can’t go on

 

Tired and sad

She doesn’t mind much

For she knows

Soon they’ll touch

 

He’s coming to meet

Me in the middle

When we’re together

We’ll solve this riddle

 

The road is long

And filled with turns

That cannot extinguish

How her love burns

 

Up there ahead

She sees him running

Her load feels lighter

She knows he’s coming

 

HIS ROAD

 

He is her husband

She is all he dreams

His heart feels heavy

Or so it seems

 

He must have faith

That she’ll survive

It is that thought

That keeps him alive

 

Never too much

For him to bear

He hopes she knows

Their life they’ll share

 

The heavy heart

The distant look

He’ll never get back

The time they took

 

But still he walks

With steady pace

He cannot NOT

Finish this race

 

Over the horizon

He knows she’s coming

He sheds his pain

And starts running

 

-Peace


I CAN’T REACH YOU

 

I tried to call

And reach out

If I wasn’t this far

I’d try to shout

 

It’s been two days

Since I heard

From you my dear

Not a word

 

Please oh please

Be okay

Me not knowing

Feels a way

 

Even writing this

Makes terrible thought

Every word

A breath not caught

 

How can I make

My scared heart rest

I must find a way

To do that best

 

I’ll try to dream

My way thru

Because awake

I can’t reach you

 

-Peace


I wish I could just rest my heart.

Just take it out of my body, place it in a silk lined box inside of an ice-filled Igloo cooler.

Gently put “my heart container” at the foot of my bed and relax for tonight.

Lay down and close my eyes. Let sleep take me over. My breathing would be controlled and steady paced. Bones and blood would be at ease. For once, I would not have to think or worry about my heart and how hard it works just to keep me, ME.

Yeah, take it out, because while my heart is inside of me, my sleeping is keeping me awake.

Yeah, this is the way to go.

And yes I did exactly all that last night.

I went into my garage and found my favorite red cooler.

Heart – box – ice – cooler – peaceful sleep.

Yet when I awoke this morning to the sound of her vacuuming the bedroom floor, I almost died.

It seems she felt the need to throw out that old beat up red Igloo cooler.

Yelling at me,“WHAT THE HELL IS THIS DIRTY THING DOING IN HERE?”

-Peace

 

 


 

SHE’S NOT THERE

It was the sunlight peeking through my window that woke me this morning. Moments before my eyes opened, I imagined her touch. Her soft caressing fingers. Peeling back my blanket as her sharp blue eyes darted between my now exposing skin and her expectation of my awakening. I imagined her whispering a muted giggle to herself. Telling herself how much I’ll enjoy this moment and how this might just be the moment that we heal our broken love. As I imagined this happening, I must have smiled in my sleep. I smiled because it would not be this action that would heal, it is the thought of the action. She must have sensed my arousal or maybe it was the way she let her fingers carelessly drift across my flesh intending reaction from my skin. She knew that I was with her, guiding her, loving her, asking her for more. This love was healing, our love was healing. I could feel my flesh as it came alive. I could feel the goosebumps on my thigh. I opened my eyes with focus to meet hers.


WATCHING THE ONE I LOVE CRY

It’s not fair – she said

I know it’s not fair but we have to keep pushing thru this – I said

We’ve lost everything – she said

Yes, we have, but we have eachother – I said

I know, and thats what’s most important – she said

We can get our things back – I said

But it hurts that we lose them – she said

I will get us back to where we were before this happened – I said

I know you will, I just want this to begin so it will end – she said

I do too – I said

It hurts – she said

Is this why you’re crying right now – I said

No, I burnt the pancakes – she said

I’ll eat them anyway – I said

-Peace